Rules of nature

In Africa there’s a number of axioms not known in the rest of the world.

The most popular is of course the famous:
There is always room (also known as: “space is plenty”, “it’s not full yet” or “it’s going to fit”.)
This is especially applies to any kind of vehicles (be it busses, cars, trains, donkey carts or bicycles). It’s also true for hostels or any other place where you can sleep, bars, restaurants also applies to your stomach (“take another lump of Nshima!”)

Everything leaves/starts/takes off/takes place now
Again: any sorts of transport, “now” is also the start time for meetings, and: the food will be ready just now.
Now can mean anything from two hours ago up to next month or never.
Also: “now now” is usually within one day, and “now now now” is every second (but after you get on the bus it, of course, takes another 2 hours for it to leave)

There’s always a better use for ‘anything’ than whatever it was originally meant for.
Condoms are perfect to replace the rubber band in an old radio, and they are also good for catapults. Fuel can double up as mouth-wash (or cheap drinking alcohol). A fridge also makes an ace heater.

Oh, and you can build a first class house out of everything.

The emotional end-of-placement reflection blog post

Two weeks ago, my VSO-Placement in Zambia came to an end. It’s and old VSO-Tradition to write a very deep and emotional blog post reflecting on the time in-country. This is mine:

After six months living, squatting, partying, working being in a country like Zambia it’s time to ask yourself some questions.

Like: did I achieve the goal of finding the truth about myself finding religious spiritual enlightment becoming a better person?
Not really.

How about: doing something useful, ie. helping the poor out of poverty, bringing running water to the orphans and empowering the women?
No, Not that either.

What happened?
I had an amazing time. Zambia is a nice place to be (knowing that, if the shit hits the fan, you can leave to a place with proper social security and medical facilities), the people are nice, the weather is good, grass is green and the food is… well, the food is excellent good allright available. Apart from that, I slept more than ever before in my life, my fruit consumption increased, my hygiene levels sunk, and in turn my digestive system is now unbreakable. Apart from that, I installed a few computerlevels, and a number of training sessions were held and not to forget the project of installing facebook Internet (which now, that the biggest source of traffic – me – left, actually works, hope

So, What next?
Well, Now its a few weeks of travelling around southern Africa (with two weeks already gone by now) before going back ‘home’.

…Breaking News: If everything works out (ie. VSO making the ridiculous decision that they want to work with me again, and me accepting) I’ll be back in the Zambia later this year or next year.

Also: I started taking the Lariam again, so I blame all of the above on that.

FAQ

die Preise?
von fast gratis bis superteuer. Alles was es auf den lokalen Märkten gibt ist günstig, jetzt kurz nach der Regenzeit ist auch die Auswahl nicht allzu Übel, und die Preise niedrig. Je nach Qualität: Tomaten 2000K-3000K (0.40$)/KG, grosser Kohl 1000K-2000K (0.20$), 1KG T’Bone Steaks 20’000K (4$).
Grundsätzlich gilt: Je abgelegener die Gegend desto günstiger z.B. gibts in Kalomo kleine, schäbige Bananen für 400-700K pro stück. Eine (auto)stunde richtung niemandsland gibts für 2000K (0.40$) ca. 2KG der weltbesten Bananen am Strassenrand zu kaufen.

Preise in den Grossen Supermärkten (Shoprite oder Spar) sind in der Regel mindestens so hoch wie in Europa, viele import-Produkte sind lächerlich teuer.

Günstig dagegen ist Arbeit. Für 10’000(2$) gibts Hausputzen und Kleiderwäsche.

In Kalomo kommt man mit 1’500’000 (300$) pro Monat ganz gut über die Runden (inkl. Ausgang und Käse). In Lusaka hingegen ist es ohne weiteres möglich mit europäischem Gehalt zu leben.

die Armut?
Ist allgegenwärtig. Eine ungelernte Nachtwache (die auch mal Diebe mit der Steinschleuder vertreibt und einige Schläge einstecken (und austeilen) muss.) verdient 200’000-300’000 (40-60$) pro Monat, und das ist ein relativ grosszügiges Gehalt. Andere einfache Arbeiter (strassen wischen etc.) kriegen 10’000K (2$) pro Tag. Die Arbeitslosigkeit ist hoch, viele halten sich mit gelegenheitsarbeit über Wasser (Maissäcke schleppen für ein paar hundert Kwachas oder ähnliches.)

Als Überlebensration für eine kleine Familie wird ein 25KG Sack mealie meal (maismehl) pro Monat angenommen (gibts für 10$). Dann noch Miete für 30$, dann bleibt nicht mehr viel übrig.

das Essen?
NSHIMA! Nshima ist Leben, Nshima ist lieblingsessen von jedem, Nshima wird mindestens zweimal täglich gegessen, ein Essen ohne Nshima ist keine richtige Mahlzeit. Eine Art Maisbrei (ähnlich Polenta aber ohne Geschmak). Typischerweise mit einer Tomatensauce, irgendwelchem Grünzeug (kürbisblätter, kohl) und Fisch, Rind, Hähnchen oder Bohnen serviert. Reis is als Grundnahrungsmittel nur im Westen Zambias ‘anerkannt’.

das Wetter?
Sonnig und Schön.

Livingstone

First trip to Livingstone since new years.

Getting my first african haircut from Thomas, the muzungu-hair-specialist in Kalomo (cost: 15’000 Kwacha, ~3US$, and I still overpaid him). After that, 17:30, it’s time to get on the bus to Livingstone. Around 18:30: we are informed that the bus is a few kms out of Kalomo, not able to move any further. Long story short, I arrive in Livingstone at 23:00 instead of 19:00.

Friday nights programme is watching Bud Spencer movies and me struggling speaking German for the first time in three months. Saturday is the time to see Vic Falls once more (what else?), at the end of rainy season (now) that is about eleven million litres per second falling 110m in a single drop, compared to a tenth of that amount on start of rainy season. It’s a very wet experience.

World Water Day

2011 World Water Day event by Kalomo Council, Rural Water and Sanitation Programme.

Dank Zambezi, Kafue, Lake Kariba hat Southern Province, im Vergleich zu anderen Regionen in Afrika, relativ gute Wasserreserven. Wasser ist grundsätzlich vorhanden aber nur unzureichend erschlossen. Die Wasseraufbereitungs- und Transportanlagen sind veraltet und reichen kaum noch aus um die wachsenden Städte zu versorgen (In Kalomo gibts fliessend Wasser nur tagsüber und auch dann nicht unbedingt zuverlässig). Kanalisation ist nicht vorhanden, Bestenfalls haben die Häuser Septic Tanks. . In den ‘Compounds’, wo ein grossteil der Bevölkerung lebt, gibts nur selten fliessend Wasser, Abwasser wird in den nahen Bach oder sonstwohin gekippt. Noch weiter draussen in den Dörfern gibts bestenfalls Wasser aus Bohrlöchern. Cholera und andere ‘water-borne diseases’ sind in der Regenzeit (jetzt) ziemlich weit verbreitet, und die medizinische Versorgung ist schwach.

…until the fuel runs dry.

08.03.2011

18:00, On this very moment we should be on our way to Zimba, a small subcenter of Kalomo a few miles down the road to Livingstone, because its time for the first exciting Full Council Meeting in this year, and Zimba is where the council chamber is located.

However, there is no power in Kalomo, therefore the pumps at the gas station are not working. Of course there’s no fuel in any of the council vehicles. We’re stuck in Kalomo.

19:10, Still no power. The Ministry of Education donated a few litres, enough for one car to go to Zimba.

20:30, After some discussions it is RESOLVED that the fuel shall be drained from the fire-brigade truck. What a glorious idea, now lets hope there’s no fire in Kalomo (or if it better be in walking distance…)

22:00, Finally we arrive in Zimba and.. and thanks to GMT+2 the football game is not over yet. Time to hit the local Shebeen and some serious rounds of Pool.

Riots in the sweetest town in the nation.

Mazabuka – about three hours up the road towards Lusaka -  is famous for its sugarcane farms, thus the title ‘Sweetest town in the country’.

On Wednesday, the police tear-gassed a club, where a large crowd was watching the ManU – Chelsea game. Police wanted to break-up the crowd and close the tavern as it was operating outside allowed-opening times. Unfortunately, in the following stampede two people were killed, not to the amusement of Mazabuka residents.

http://www.lusakatimes.com/2011/03/02/riots-breakout-mazabuka/

Since then Mazabuka is in Riot state, and VSO decided to evacuate three volunteers to Lusaka. And we are advised not to travel through Mazabuka (meaning that Southern Province is more or less cut off) as Rioters erected makeshift road-blocks, and apparently some Vehicles passing through got stoned.

And since two rioters were shot by the police, It’s definitely over with sweetness in Mazabuka (http://www.lusakatimes.com/2011/03/03/police-shoot-mazabuka)

In the sleepy town of Kalomo of course, everything is calm as usual.

VSO IT: Computer repair staple

The Council Store room is always good fun, and a good opportunity to stack up on Masking tape and other useful items. Yesterday I was especially successful as I discovered a not-too-old Computer carefully hidden between bags of cement and motorbikes. Of course nobody ever saw this computer before, and no one knew where it came from (?).

After opening it, I discovered why it was carefully hidden in the storeroom: All the warranty seals were broken and all other sorts of impossible things happened to the magic bits inside: somebody obviously tampered with it.

 
It was time for the VSO Approved Computer-Repair-Staple, it’s the VSO IT-Guys tool of choice when it comes to poke around inside computers. This mighty Tool has the perfect size to short-start a computer or to replace hard-drive Jumpers.

 

the mighty repair staple is ready to short start.

 

 

Big City life

Heute aus Lusaka. Grund der Reise: Meine Arbeitserlaubnis ist abholbereit, ausserdem: Welcome-braai für 15 neue VSO-Volunteers (Samstags eingeflogen).

Ich reise standesgemäss im dreireiher-Bus natürlich auf dem mittleren Sitz mit nicht allzu dünnen Nachbarn, sind ja auch nur  (theoretische) 4 -5 Stunden. Gut dass auf der Strecke auch noch ein Laster querliegt und wir ca. eine Stunde warten müssen bis die Strecke frei ist. Genügend Zeit für eine Ferndiagnose des Computers meines Nachbarn, Diskussionen über Religion, Polygamie (relativ verbreitet im Tongaland), und gutes Essen (Nshima).

Nach drei Monaten Kalomo wieder in Lusaka, ich habe einen kleineren Kulturschock. Was mir als erstes auffällt: Die durchschnittliche Geh-Geschwindigkeit ist in Lusaka ungefähr doppelt so hoch wie in Kalomo. Nicht ganz so gemütlich wie in good old Kalomo, Taxi und Minibusfahrer prügeln sich halb um den Muzungu (Die Begeisterung legt sich dann aber bald wenn herauskommt dass man die Taxipreise kennt.)

Nach einem Gemütlichen Sonntags-Barbecue und heissen Diskussionen über das Lieblingsthema aller VSO-Volunteers: Allowances, das Montagmorgen Programm: Abenteuer Arbeitserlaubnis. Kurz im VSO-Office vorbei für Instruktionen: Immigration Office rein, zu Tisch Nr. 12, Pass und Quittung vorzeigen, Unterschreiben, fertig. Die Realität ist natürlich ein bisschen anders: Immigration Office ankommen, sich an der Menschen-Schlange die an der ‘Rezeption’ ansteht vorbeizwängen (man merkt man ist hier nicht unter Ausländern, die Schlange ist sehr ordentlich ausserdem gibts böse Blicke wenn man sich vorbeidrängt.), los zu Tisch 12, Pass und Quittung zeigen, Unterschreiben. Gut jetzt bräuchte ich nur noch einen Stempel im Pass, den gibts aber nicht an Tisch 12 (“ask any other officer”) any-other-officer ist leider nicht zuständig und ich gehe von Tisch zu Tisch, anscheinend ist immer derjenige Officer zuständig der am anderen Ende des Büros sitzt. Es stellt sich heraus dass der erste ‘any-other-officer’ schon richtig gewesen wäre, aber leider ist sein Stempelkissen ausgetrocknet… Nach ein bisschen warten klappts dann doch: Ich darf mich bis am 26. Juni in Zambia aufhalten, sehr schön.

Den Nachmittag verbringe ich im neueröffneten Shopping Center Manda Hill. Kalomo-Lusaka war ja schon, ein kleiner Schock, aber dann noch ein Shopping Centre ungefähr vergleichbar mit Sihlcity. zur Beruhigung benötige ich beinahe ein halbes Monatsgehalt für Subway Sandwiches, Kaffee, (unglaublich schnelles) Internet, Kleidung, Bücher und andere lebenswichtige Utensilien (Käse!)

Newsticker

After a lovely weekend in Choma: Farewell-braai (clearly brit-dominated: Gin&Tonic (with Tonic more expensive than Gin) and some serious rounds of Uno) for Ros, the town planning volunteer at Choma Council leaves Zambia after two years.

Back to the hard reality that is work at Kalomo Council:

Todays programme: The honorable Minister of Lands visits Kalomo to hold a sensitization workshop about Land Development Fund, Venue: District Conference Room.
0900: Official start of the meeting, I’m still sitting in my office writing very important emails regarding very serious issues of a welcome-barbecue (braai) for the new VSO-Volunteers (arriving next Saturday in Lusaka), and the quality of booze in Zambia.
0912: Chief of administration pops in and tells us to kindly move to the conference room as we’ll be starting very soon.
0920: A quick peek into the conference room: no ones there. Back to the business of finding accommodation in Lusaka for the weekend.
0924: The Chief tells us we should really move to the conference room now, as we’re about to start.
0930: People present in the conf room: Me, John, Southern Water and Sewerage manager, Treasurer, Deputy district planner.
0932: The Councilors arrive, atmosphere change from uncomfortable silence to nervous anticipation.
0935: I keep myself occupied, compiling todays word list for a solitary round of buzzword bingo (more information on buzzword/bullshit bingo in Kalomo):

• Sensitization
• Maintenance/Repair of Grader
• commercial ventures, Community development
• Road maintenance
• Service Provision
• Water and Sanitation
• District Development Coordination Committee (DDCC)
• Donors
• decentralization
• Church
• developmental activities
• memorandum of understanding
• Monitoring and Evaluation
• Allowances.

0947: Still waiting… thinking about my lunch.
0958: Finally! I spot the Minister and her fellowship approach the Conference Room.
1000: Go! Start with the big three: National Anthem, Prayer, Opening Remarks.
1012: The honorable Minister starts her speech, it centers about corruption and how to avoid it, Gender issues and horrendous application fees (example: 200 Plots to be distributed, 6000 applicants, the Council wants 250000Kwachas (USD50, compare: you can get someone to wash you clothes and clean you house for about 10’000-20’000 per week. ) application fee from each and every one of the 6000 applicants…
1034: Speech is over, time for questions.
1100: The most important part: Drinks and Snacks are served, everyone starts to chat with his neighbour. The meeting is unofficially over.
1130: The minister needs to rush to Kazungula, the guys that do the actual work at the Ministry take over, and guide us through the rest of the workshop. Judging from the questions asked by the participants, im the only one who ever read the guidelines on accessing this Land Development Fund…
1213: Workshop participation allowances are distributed: 100’000Kwacha (USD20, probably about the current value of about half the Kalomo vegetable market) for every participant , the Ministry of Lands seems to be quite rich for an aid-dependent country…
1300: The workshop is officially over. Over to El-Pantanos for delicious Nshima.

Result of todays buzzword bingo: everything covered except DDCC, damn. Failed.